Master of the Boat

I'm sure every man who becomes a father, spends some time imagining sharing the things that were important to him as a child with his own children, particularly his sons. Its not that there is any distinction between his affection for a son or a daughter, but there is that underlying idea of reliving your own childhood through the lives of your children which focuses much of this imagined sharing on the boys.

Most of the important things about my childhood had to do with place, one in particular. Unfortunately it was not possible to share that place with my own children, other than for a very brief visit many years ago but other things were within easier reach. I've watched with pride as they have, boys and girl, enjoyed the outdoors as members of the Scouting movement. The vast buckets of Lego blocks that fill the house have been a delight of nostalgia as they build cities that remind me of my own childhood constructions and amazement as they build creatures and machines vastly beyond my own powers of imagination. Art and music, history and science, all subjects that fascinated me as a child seem to have a special interest for them.

Other things I would have wanted for them have not taken quite so well as the hoarded boxes of unmade Airfix models can attest and I sense the long tradition in my family of serving at the altar , ended in my generation. Perhaps for the best.

However one of the great joys of my experience of fatherhood has been the new things that my children have brought to my life. I was never good at sports , and yet have managed to nurture and support three children who have all found a place for sport in their lives and in some cases have demonstrated great talent and a commitment bordering on obsession. While I loved music , I never mastered an instrument and yet I delight in the sound of flute and guitar.

I am sensitive to the idea that reliving our childhood through our children's involves more than mere repetition of past glories but can also mean using their childhoods to fill the gaps in our own. What really delights me though, are the things that they have mastered , that I never even dreamt of doing as a child.

Today, I stepped into a small plastic dingy to go sailing with my thirteen year old son. From the moment we left the shore, the dynamic in our relationship was transformed. I was almost giddy with pride in the skill and confidence with which he handled the small boat. He whooped and cheered as we sliced through the water. He beamed with mischievous delight as he threatened to capsize us at any moment and you could sense his own pride grow as he issued instructions to the bulky novice, who he clearly believed was having a major impact on the performance of boat.

Placing our lives in the hands of our children can be one of the great traumas of aging, but today it was a real pleasure to accept my limitations and embrace the idea that my Son was, Master of the Boat!